by ellis93 » Wed Apr 09, 2014 4:58 am
Ran across this on a gun forum this morning and a I'm still hurting from laughing so hard
Well, the hurricane was mostly a fizzle, but the flooding was worse than what I saw diring Gustav. My company was patrolling around Waveland and Bay St Louis. Needless to say we spent about 3 days driving through pretty deep water. It regularly was over our laps in my little HMMWV that had no doors.
I guess after the second day I was taking a shower in the Kiln Armory when much to my surprise i noticed my junk was larger than usual. Now I know this sounds like an awesome thing to happen to a fellow, but the horrible elephantitus like disfigurement of this entire region completely negated that.
After a good ten minutes or so of trying desperately to wash away this affliction with dial and a wash cloth I gave up and got dressed. So I spent another fifteen minutes googling every possibility I could think of that might give me some insight as to what was wrong with me. The only diffinitive thing I learned was it s very difficult to search the Internet for medical conditions concerning swollen junk.
I finally gave up and wondered over to the medic to explain my predicament. It was a tender young medic fresh out of basic and after describing my affliction he immediately knew he needed to consult a more experienced Doc. So he called up the senior medic and after a long conversation they decided it was time to look at my junk. The entire section gathered for the grand unveiling.
Much to my horror it was even worse than before. The older medics put on their gloves and poked at it. Even the most calloused of them couldn't help but grimmace at the sight of my disfigured junk. The elders then sent a committee to discuss the need to evacuate me. During the committee meeting they sent a sub committee back to stare at it one more time. The subcommittee reported back to the main committee and they determined my affliction was getting worse and it did indeed constitute an emergency.
The youngest medic was then tasked with evacuating me to, ironically, Hancock Medical. When I arrived at the emergency room I delicately explained to the nurse the specifics of my injury. Since I was the only one there I was immediately rushed to a room to be seen by a doctor. So again I dropped my pants and the doctor poked it a couple of times and decided he really didn't know exactly what the hell wrong, but was sure it was an allergic reaction to something He assured me it wasn't going to fall off and would eventually go back to normal.
After about a five minute discussion on the particulars of every possibility he finally told me I didn't have to leave my pants around my ankles and could pull them back up. I was hoping if he stared at it long enough he would suddenly determine exactly what happened. Anyway the final determination was something crawled up my pants leg, bit me on the junk and then left. The other possibility epwas something swam up my pee hole and stayed. This was the most action I had the entire month. I was given a heavy course of benadryl and told to go easy on it for a few days. After about 5 days I woke up and everything was back to normal and the swollen junk epic came to an end.
93 D250 ,5 speed,4.11s,k&n autometer tach pyro trans boost guages,GDS 60mm h1c 14cm,honed 5x10,hplp/reg,1/8 timing,M+H M2 fuel pin, tims cooler tubz
